Twenty three years ago,Tebogo was born.She is the only sibling in my family whose first name is a literal noun.It means Thanks.My parents were thanking God.My parents thanked God because my sister was born prematurely.She was born about two months in advance.I have learnt about myself from our relationship.It has influenced my relationship with my mother,my perspective on career,my outlook on sibling complexities and my role as the eldest.It has not always been sweet.One of my good friends observed that our relationship mushroomed when we lived apart.Well,when I was growing up,due to our childish antigues,my mother would say that she will send one of us to a boarding school in the East and the other to a boarding school in the West:)It seems she had a vision noting Im in Spain now and Tebogo is a constatnt consultant and I hope I am too in her life.Anyway,from my sister I learnt:
One:The pressure and in-bred inclination of children to seek approval from parents is not a figment of our imagination.Some sons and daughter may seem like they dont really care about it,but to a majority,this tendency is very strong and almost inherent of every parent-child relationships.
Two:In relatiosnhips,sometimes you dont get ¨Im sorry...¨You get a bold hug,or messages ending with ¨I love you...¨Or more open conversations...¨
Three:Its important to remind loved ones,that by being in your life is a gift.The rest of what they bring o these relationships tare bonuses.
Four:To reconcile the outlook of the world on me,(who I am and what I can do)as well as the real me is important so stay in touch and grounded.As the eldest,its important to reach out and say I could have done the same mistake,or that I have done it already and that they are free to be their own person.
Five:To listen and validate them.To acknoledge lessons learnt from them.To say Thank you.Also to be humble and dependant enough to also allow them to lead,guide and receive from them.
Six:Patience with her and myself.Sometimes I had to leave her to make her own mistakes,to come around on her own.To support her,in her attempt to make her own unique choices,irrespective of result.And finally inconsequential of result still say,you are still my wonderful sister
